It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
