just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
