Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
