He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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