Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
