U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
