I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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