You really coming over, don't trick.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
