I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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