I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
