I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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