I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
