exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Less talking, more tequila
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
