i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
ttyl tear gas
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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