That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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