ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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