Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You are a genius and a whore.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
