I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
