he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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