dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
