there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
