I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
