I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
