Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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