Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
