something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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