you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
