Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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