Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love having hate sex.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
