I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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