your thong is hanging out like whoa
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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