Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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