he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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