I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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