so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
