should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
