If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize