grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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