nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
