Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
