are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
