Rock
Scissors
Fuck
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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