This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
