What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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