Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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