Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
