dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
