They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
