Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His hands were made for my vagina.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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