no, he came in my armpit
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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