i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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