tell your sister to shave her snatch
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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