Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
