I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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