please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
