I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
