The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
