And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
