Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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