Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
