WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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