Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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