So drunk, too bad you don't want this
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
