Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
