I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
